What a man has to do in marriage (Video)

by Rabbi Bentzion Greiper 

Excerpts appear below the video player.

​We’re going to tell a story. I got a call Thursday night, many, many months ago and the man said that my wife wants a divorce and to be separated, after seventeen years of marriage. And I asked him what was going on, he didn’t say too much, but his wife would speak to me.

She spoke to me — she said he doesn't help clean, he doesn’t help with the children, he doesn’t have a job so often and he doesn’t learn Torah. She had a whole list. And the rebbeim, they said, the psychologists, the therapists, the agencies are all telling her to get out, they’ll give you money for tuition and everything else.

Then he got back on the phone later… I said let's begin again.

What does the man have to do? Thursday night, clean the floor, clean the house. Show her she’s so important. The shabbos table is so important that you're going to clean. When she wakes up in the morning the dishes are cleaned, she’s ready to go.

I said let's begin again.

Then I told him prepare a nice shabbos talk, and stories and be excited. Third thing I said, work with the children and to kiss, hug and involved in the children’s lives. And I also told him to work, work, work. He has a job now he told me, I said work, work, work.

And then I told him also Simon says. Anyone who wants to accomplish in marriage has to get back to Simon says. Your wife says jump, jump. Walk, walk. Talk, talk. Yes, yes. No, no. 

If a man gets that into his head, sooner or later everything will come his way…

She called me back the next day, again with such excitement with such excitement and I said continue, continue. And then two weeks later she called with a complaint, she said he’s working six days a week now and he comes home late, he helps with the house, he helps with the kids, he’s just listening, he’s doing so much, but he’s not learning Torah anymore. So I said I’ll get him a shiur, a class on Sunday. 

So you see a big, big thing, everybody. The neshomo comes down fresh in the morning, it really is and if we utilise the new ideas, the new concepts and all that comes into our day, we can gain, success, we can begin again in marriage.