Parenting: Bring Home the Happiness

From Bringing Up Children 8 (#679) by Rabbi Avigdor Miller 

The father of the house is enjoined, is commanded that he should consider it his duty to emulate Hashem, Who is busy all the time with His great function of attending to the happiness of mankind. The father of the house should always have in mind the welfare of his family.
​
Now when we say welfare, you understand it means not only he should bring home kosher candy bars for the children. He should also come home and examine his children if they’re learning well. That’s the most important candy bar: if a child is succeeding in learning Torah. Even girls have to be examined. Are they doing what they’re supposed to do? Is everybody helping out in the house? You have to examine that too. He has to examine their Torah and derech eretz (character).

---

The father not only brings home the sustenance, he has to bring home the happiness 

The father has to inquire. He can’t just come home and just sit down and eat and then go off to the beis hamedrash. That’s a very good thing, but he has a responsibility to see that everything is in order in the house. If there are complaints from the wife, he has to listen to them and see how he can help out. 

Therefore a model is given, “she’heim teluyim bach — they depend on you,” your family depends on you for their happiness. "V’atah talui b’mi she’amar v’haya haolam — and [just as] you are dependent on the One Who spoke and the world was created.” 

Of course you have to bring home parnassa (livelihood). If you’re not a man who works, you’re a loafer, a shlemazal, a ne’er-do-well, then you should know that Hashem is not pleased at all with you. Everybody has to bring home the parnassa. Like Hashem is “zan u’mifarneis lakol u’meitiv lakol u’meichin mazon l’chol briyosav asher bara,” He provides sustenance to all the creatures that He created (Birchas Hamazon). So the father of the house certainly must be concerned with that. But he not only brings home the sustenance, he has to bring home happiness. 

Climb the Ladder: Make an extra effort to smile at and encourage someone in your family today.