Lean Back and Enjoy the Ride

From Serene Mind (#301) by Rabbi Avigdor Miller

Here is a couple who has every reason to be happy, and what happens? They divorce.

​Afterwards they look back and see the big mistake they made. It’s a very big error. Even a wife is a nuisance and [so is every] a husband, but at least they are husband and wife. It’s much superior to when they are separated, because these people never learned to enjoy what they had, never learned to understand that Hashem is giving them a great gift. 

It’s a great gift to be married. Of course it’s a greater gift to be married happily, but there’s no such thing as unhappiness if a person understands that Hashem is giving them happiness. Very many people are deceiving themselves, thinking this woman is not for me, or this man is not for me. They’re only looking for trouble, because the next one is not going to be any better, and in most cases it’s much worse. The first one usually is the best one. 

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There’s no such thing as unhappiness if a person understands that Hashem is giving them happiness

And that’s how it is with all the circumstances of life. People say, Oh, if I was born in a different place, in a different family, different parents, different brothers and sisters, different neighbors… these people are making a fatal error. They are not understanding that what was given to them is for their benefit. All these are for their benefit. These parents are for the benefit for them. They are made to order for them. These brothers and sisters are specially made for them. 

And that’s the great lesson of “Shuvi nafshi l’mnuchay’chi — Come back my soul, return to your tranquility” (Tehilim 116:7). Why should you suffer for nothing? “Ki Hashem gamal alaichi,” Hashem has already prepared all the benefits for you. It’s all under control, everything is being done for your benefit. Rely on Him and lean back and enjoy the ride, like the sign in the taxi says. Lean back and enjoy the ride in this life. You have to ride anyhow, so you might as well enjoy it. And (peace of mind), is one of the great elements that cause people to enjoy life.

Climb the Ladder: Mentally make a list of 10 benefits (of any nature) you receive from your spouse. (If you are not married, choose another close relation.)