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Chinuch: The Child is the Father of the Man

12/10/2015

 
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The root of the word Chanukah is connected to the word chinuch. Here are a few words from Rabbi Miller on that subject:

Q: “Can a person overdo the chastisement of their children?” 
A: First of all let’s understand he can under-do it. It’s possible not to chastise enough, and that’s a worse danger than overdoing it. Don’t make any mistake about that. Disregard the liberal teachings of today’s educators, because you see the big results. More people today are killed because of self-indulgence than ever before. Self-indulgence includes speeding, it includes narcotics, it includes dangerous ways of living, and it’s because there wasn’t enough chastisement. 
​

You have to remember a child is the father of the man. You have to treat the child as a future man or woman. You want them to remember you in the way that you’d like to be remembered forever. So therefore, when you hit, if they see you hit with justice, with fairness, it means you’re not enraged, you didn’t lose your temper, you’re doing it because of conscience

You have to treat the child as a future man or woman
​Especially it’s a good thing if you tell your child, “For that, I’ll have to hit you five times.” Tell them the number of times before you do it. And then later before you do it, tell them I’m going to reduce it to one time. That’s like the Chinaman who has a store and he tells you he has a sale, a fifty percent reduction, so he first raises the price seventy percent. Tell your child beforehand a little more than you’ll give him and then tell him you’re reducing it and then give it to him. He’ll feel its justice.” -- Bringing Up Children II (#254)

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  • Home
  • Listen
    • Free audio and video
  • Members' Area
    • Membership
    • Read
    • Hashem >
      • Coming Close to Hashem
      • Fear of Hashem
      • Greatness of Hashem
      • Loving Hashem
      • Bitachon
      • Emunah
      • Hashem's Kindness
      • Know What to Answer
      • Olam Haba
      • Rebuke and Instruction
      • Suffering
      • Teshuva
    • Perfection >
      • Free Will
      • Greatness of Man
      • Happiness
      • Midos
      • Perfection
    • Torah and Mitzvos >
      • Mitzvos
      • Perek Chelek
      • Pirkei Avos
      • Shir Hashirim
      • Shmoneh Esreh
      • Torah
    • Shabbas and Yom Tov >
      • Chanuka
      • Exile (Tisha B'Av)
      • Pesach
      • Purim
      • Receiving the Torah (Shavuos)
      • Shabbas
    • Marriage and Parenting >
      • The Jewish Home
      • Marriage
      • Raising Children
    • Mussar >
      • Cheshbon Hanefesh
      • Chovos Halevavos
      • Mesilas Yesharim
      • Orchos Tzadikim
      • Shaarei Teshuva
      • Tomer Devorah
  • About/Contact
    • About Rabbi Avigdor Miller ztl >
      • Remembering Rabbi Avigdor Miller ztl
      • Rav Avigdor Miller, zt”l: Klal Yisrael's Rebbe
      • Hagaon Hatzaddik Harav Avigdor Miller
      • Who owns Rabbi Miller's work?