Chanoch l’naar al pi darko

Ask Rabbi Miller

Q: What are some examples of chanoch l’naar al pi darko (educate a child according to his nature)?

A: We’ll just say one example. Train a youth on his way in life. Train a youth that he should think every day at least for one half minute of Matan Torah (the giving of the Torah).​

More than anything you speak about to your children, speak about Matan Torah

“Hishamer lecha u’shemor nafshecha meod pan tishkach hadevarim asher ra’u einecha.—  Be careful not to forget what your eyes see.” Be careful not to forget what you saw at Matan Torah!

“Yom asher amadita lifnei Hashem elokecha b’Chorev v’hodatem l’banecha u’bnei banecha. — The day you stood before Hashem your G-d at Horeb, and tell your children and your children’s children.” You should let your children know about it.

The Rambam in Iggeres Teiman wrote, “Gadleihu al kol gedula,” more than anything you speak about to your children, speak about Matan Torah. But speak about it with hispa’alus, with excitement, what a day that was. A tremendous day, like never in all of history.
People heard Kol Hashem, a sweet and dreadful voice. They fainted, they died, they had to be revived. It’s that excitement, a terrible experience, but the most happy and joyous experience.

You have to explain that to your children more than anything else. If they can think every day one half minute about the giving of the Torah, that’s one of the ways of being mechanech al naar al pi darko. The Rambam said that’s the most important thing to teach your son. — Real Emunah (#E-104)
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