by Rabbi Benzion Greiper
Another way to build simcha in marriage is the seventh commandment of marriage, be loyal. Be loyal doesn’t only mean loyal as a husband and wife, but it means, "My husband is the best chazzan!" “My husband is the best helper!” “My husband knows a lot of Torah!” You have to learn how to brag and look at the good things in your mate.
“My wife is the best cook,” even though she may be not the best, but she’s pretty good. “My wife always tries to make the house look nice!” “My wife is always making nice suppers!”
So first of all it makes an impression on the children. At Shabbos meal, don’t talk in big pilpuls, don’t give big speeches. At the Shabbas meal you start talking about “Ah, Mamme’s food!”
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The children should hear over and over and over again not only shabbos table, “Look how Mommy takes care of you!” “Mummy makes supper for you, Mummy changes your clothes, she does the laundry.” Pour it on!
Be loyal to your mate. And chas vesholom if someone says something — a friend, or your parents or her parents — nope! Jump in defense of your mate: “My wife, no, she’s gevaldig! I have to help more around the house.”
Now you have the opportunity to create a happy home, and loyalty is the key
So we have to create a loyalty that is forever. Make a list of the mate’s super things she does. Tell it to her face, tell it to the children, tell it to her parents, tell it to your parents. And you’ll see you can create a rebbetzen, even if you’re not a Rabbi.
Pour it on. That’s loyalty. You’re going to create a happy lady, and a happy lady is a happy home. They say today you need happy homes because you want the children to go on and create their own homes… Now you have the opportunity, you have to create this happy home, this simchadike home, and loyalty is the key.