Ask Rabbi Miller: Why Does the Heavenly Voice Announce Who Will Marry Whom?

Q: Why does the bas kol (Heavenly voice) announce who will marry whom specifically forty days before the child is conceived?

A: The bas kol announces forty days before the child is created who will marry whom. Forty days before this child is created is the time to make plans for the nature of that child. Some are hot tempered, some are cool, some are lively, some are quiet. It depends.

Hashem is preparing a certain bride for a certain man because it is so important to test a person. 

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Hashem is preparing a certain bride for a certain man because it is so important to test a person. 

​He is making a lifelong mate for him, to test him. She tests him and he tests her. And Hashem knows each one perfectly, and it’s made in order that each one should be tested fully after many years of living together, he is kovesh (conquering) his kaas, she is kovesh her tongue and little by little they become better and better. 

“Lo tov heyos ha’adam lvado — It is not good for a man to be by himself.” With a wife, he is constantly tested to become better and better, and she becomes better and better. When the time is up, they go to Olam Haba and they both get a tremendous reward. If they fail the test chas v’shalom, it’s a great tragedy. But he had an opportunity, she has an opportunity because they were made to order for each other in order to pass the test. — To Separate from the Nations (#E-169)